There is something oddly liberating about cleaning. Not cleaning because you're told to, but cleaning because you want to. I don't know about you, but wiping away that layer of grunge on that shelf makes a piece of me feel new again. It's also incredibly soothing...maybe because it makes me focus on something and gives me a feeling of accomplishment. When everything around me is shiny and clean and smells good, I feel at peace.

I got into an argument with someone today. Actually, it wasn't an argument. It was a fight. I hate fighting more than just about anything, but this was something I couldn't leave alone. I hated every moment of it with every fiber of my being, but I said what I needed to say, I yelled, I cried...and now it's done. It's done. Now that everything is out in the open, the situation can be worked with and fixed. I'm not sure how, exactly, but I know that everything will be okay in time. How do I know? I know because that's what you do with the people you love and want in your life. You have to be honest, even if it means fighting sometimes, even if it hurts, because when those things are left unsaid, you aren't giving them a chance to be fixed. Leaving something alone tends to only make it worse. And yeah, being honest can really hurt...but if you let it hurt, you give it the opportunity to heal.

I've been cleaning my room for the past couple days; rearranging, organizing, dusting, wiping, polishing, the whole bit. Today, after that fight, I opened my shutters, dusted of the window panes...

...and let in the light.

I felt like I could breathe for the first time in a while.

I want to clean more than just my room. I want to clean my life. I don't mean to give the impression that I have a bad life - frankly, I am an incredibly lucky person and I know it. I have wonderful parents, a boy who loves me, friends that are there no matter what may happen, and a lot of fantastic opportunities. I am extremely grateful for the life I have been given. But...I just want everyone to know that I am a clean slate. I am open to whatever may happen; no grudges, no vendettas, no hate. Life has thrown me a lot of curve balls in the past and I've been able to successfully deal with each one. I guess I never really thought about it until I opened that window today.

So, basically, what I want to say is that I want you. If you don't know me, meet me. If you have something to say to me, tell me. If you need a shoulder, lean on me. If you need someone to love you, let me. I'm here for you, for every one of you, no matter who you are, because that's the sort of person I am.

Now I feel clean, just like my windows.